I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Sorry about my life...
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
