didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Quick, to the slutcave!
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
