Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
they're like a gay fantastic four
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
