I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
