For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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