Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
