the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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