The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
