bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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