mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
