vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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