girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
