This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
The feeling are messing with the penis
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
