i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
