This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
