glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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