no you cant smoke seaweed
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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