I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
