Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
