Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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