i just identified you from a description of your pipe
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
