so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
there was a trapeze. enough said
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
