I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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