The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
