It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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