what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
