She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
