He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
