I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
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