yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
