barbara walters just said penis...
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
