Having a random hookup so left but love u
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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