That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
