i think my mom watched the whole time
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
