Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
