Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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