I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
