My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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