She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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