why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
