I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
i now understand why vodka
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
