Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Randomize
