be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
i out mim tonsoeep
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize