She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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