i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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