The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
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