My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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