I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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