i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
they're like a gay fantastic four
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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