Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
barbara walters just said penis...
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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