Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize