Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
