Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
