i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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