I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
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