no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
