I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
