Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
operation harelip BJ is a go
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
