It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
